i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There's always time for handjobs
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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