i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
