So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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