He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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