Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
