No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
