you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
