this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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