if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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