its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Randomize
