It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
