Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
