I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
