I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
