Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
