question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
