Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
