Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
