I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
