I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
