Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
