Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
