3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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