I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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