yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
