i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
