escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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