She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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