I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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