I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
