Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I have aggressive nipples.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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