Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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