I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
