They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
