mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
