is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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