I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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