I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
