when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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