you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
