His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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