Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
