my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
