she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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