Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
