hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
