For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
