My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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