You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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