you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
