Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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