If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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